Even before I set off, having scanned the programme and pondered on the theme, I was looking forward to sharing that burden of care. I had a strong sense that this was going to be a time to share the burden and, thereby, to lighten the load.

As we wove our way along the roads, around bends, bordered with dry-stone walls, with trees a riot of russets, browns and golds, there was a sense that we were 'going aside, into the mountains, to pray…' just as Jesus had done so many times with his disciples. All around us, nature was preparing to 'disappear' for a few months, to re-charge its batteries, before it re emerged in spring, ready to pop open, refreshed and re-vitalised.

Having been told that there was minimal mobile phone coverage and that a hot water bottle was an essential requirement, there was a sense of forthcoming hibernation! Having been told that there was minimal mobile phone coverage and that a hot water bottle was an essential requirement, there was a sense of forthcoming hibernation!

Now, at the other side of the Conference, looking back, I appreciate the variety of ways in which we were embraced and challenged. The poetry; some poignant and some with ticklish humour!! The detox, which turned out not to be colonic irrigation(!) as we squeezed and squished clay, in which we expressed our spiritual journey or the spiritual place we felt we might be at that time. Being challenged to think of whose suffering it was; how it impacted on families and on us as carers;

our feelings of inadequacy, of not having done enough; our struggle of feeling powerless; the way in which our own life experience can sometimes be reflected or projected in our work.

The worship in the chapel. The chat, craic and camaraderie in the corridors or bedrooms; or as we walked and kicked leaves, sampled Wensleydale Cheese,tried out teashops, expected to see James Herriot pop out from behind a dry-stone wall, listened, learned, prayed, praised, worshipped and detoxed! We were able to unwind, to be open to beauty, grace, knowledge and sharing; to listen with the heart and the soul as well as the ears and the mind. We came to know anew that beyond our hospice or hospital; is a community of support and of prayer, for each of us as we care. Thank you!                      (Rev Gillian Wharton)

Gillian was just one of many speakers who helped us delve more deeply into the whole subject of the burden of care. She spoke on "Why does God allow suffering - I wish I knew". There were also some specifically factual presentations, including the outcomes of the NFFH@H pilot on bereavement, and one offering some up-to-date symptom control. The final day had us looking at team working and caring for the professional. 'Cutting edge' material for the whole team! The Celtic style service of restoration led by Gillian in the chapel made a fitting ending to a challenging week.

I have just returned from the Scargill conference 'The Burden of Care'. Scargill is a wonderful place to be at this time of year, with beautiful scenery and autumn colours. As usual we timed the main sessions for the morning, late afternoon and evening in order to allow those attending to get some fresh air and exercise. Exercise? Well for some! I did think about starting a tea shop review - I tested three while I was there………

I hope that the gentle community rhythm of meals, sleep, worship, and sharing ideas has left people refreshed and returning home with both renewed enthusiasm and with new ideas. The content of the sessions was challenging and covered a variety of aspects of palliative care including symptom control,

bereavement, team work and communication. I have been looking at the evaluation forms, and as well as noting the comments relating to the sessions and speakers, who were clearly appreciated, I was struck by the number of delegates who mentioned the chance to be with 'like minded' Christians amongst their aims. The conferences seem to offer a space for the spiritual which is so much needed in the whirlwind of palliative care today. Important too is that this 'spirituality' needs to be explored by all, and not just those with theological training or practice, or even by those with a Christian faith. The multidisciplinary approach means a deep sharing of experience from which everyone benefits.

The conference benefits from the multidisciplinary mix. We were pleased to find that we had more chaplains attending than before - and it seems that they were often at least part funded and able to take it as study leave. But we are also aware that nurses and others often have to come in their own time and self funded - and fewer were able to attend. I have no proof that their lower numbers is directly related to lack of funding, and lack of study leave, but it seems likely. It is to be hoped that we can continue to promote the value of both the educational and restorative content within our conferences, and encourage all disciplines to be enabled to attend.

This becomes a challenge for our trustees and education committee. How do we help the management of hospices and other palliative care providers understand that the conferences are there to benefit all disciplines? Even when struggling for resources, the last thing that is needed is for the staff to have their educational support withdrawn. Perhaps it is also a challenge for those that have attended the conferences to take up on our behalf, reporting the benefits back to their colleagues and managers.

And if you feel a letter coming on - do write to me for our next newsletter!

Moving on, the planning for the Lee Abbey conference in May 2007 is well in hand - do come! 'Green Pastures, Peaceful Streams'. We will look at how patients feel in the valley of death, look at the skills we need to support them, and take time to renew our strength as well. As the fellowship looks ahead and considers how we can best meet our aim of sustaining a Christian presence at the heart of palliative care, it would be wonderful to see as many of you as possible at what looks to be a challenging and exciting few days - in Devon, in May - where there are tea shops.

''I write in response to your request for feedback from readers'' writes Jane Eastgate. (Editor: I am thrilled! Debate enlivens any organisation, and any newsletter!)

the British Ambassador, and Victoria Nevard, Prue's sister. Representatives of the Belgrade City Hall, the press, business people and health professionals were present at the ceremony as well as friends from the UK and USA.

But the beginning of BELhospice was really many years ago as Dr Natasa Milicevic, a senior oncologist in Belgrade, became concerned about the care of patients with advanced disease. She had heard about Hospice Care in the UK and decided, in 1991, to attend one of the Oxford courses run by Robert Twycross. However, soon after this, President Slobodan Milosevic came to power and virtually all developments in medical care stopped. But, when he was deposed, Natasa had the courage to start again. She talked with other doctors from Eastern Europe at the European Palliative Care conference in Geneva and, in 2001, went to a Hospice of Hope meeting in Brasov, Romania. It was there where we first met. She shared her thoughts for the future and decided to train in Palliative Care by undertaking the prestigious Cardiff Diploma.

I'm aged 56 and have been very happily married for the last 33 years to Marilyn. We have two adult sons aged 28 (Nathan) & 26 (Simeon), the eldest of whom was married in October. The youngest has a long-standing girlfriend, but as yet no wedding plans.

After leaving school in 1966 (the year England won the world cup) I worked for seven years in University administration and three years in Building Society management, both in Oxford. I then spent two years at an independent evangelical theological training college in Cambridge followed by three years at Oak Hill College in London.

After ordination within the Church of England in 1981 I served my first curacy for three years in Ware, Hertfordshire, followed by five years as Priest in Charge in Weston-Super-Mare and ten years as Rector of Alresford near Colchester.

In May 1999 I became the Hospital Chaplain at Mount Vernon Hospital in Northwood, Middlesex, where I still am. I'm now the Chaplaincy Team Leader for the East & North Hertfordshire NHS Trust, and also the UK President of the Association of Hospice & Palliative Care Chaplains (AHPCC).

Marilyn and I were both converted to Christ in 1971 through the ministry of David Price when he was at Christ Church, Abingdon, where a certain Prue Clench (later Dufour) was also a member. I'm very happy to accept the invitation to become a Trustee of St. Columba's Fellowship and look forward to meeting many of our partners at conferences over the next few years.

My interests are sport (mainly as a spectator these days!), reading, crosswords, walking and listening to music.

Spiritually dry, burn-out, heart-sore, these are words which time and time again people use when they arrive at St CF Conferences. We are all too aware that many others are unable to escape the pressures of a busy workplace to seek refreshment and time out for a five days conference. So the idea of taking day retreats or study days to regional areas was born, starting for us with a 'Spiritual Detox Day'.

Our first day was held in June, and 16 staff from 5 local hospices from Northampton down to Watford joined Jean and me in the beautiful surroundings of Turvey Abbey in Bedfordshire.

They came from all disciplines; nursing, a physiotherapist, chaplaincy and volunteers. The day was a mixture of reflection, some liturgy, creativity and sharing with each other. We began by looking at ourselves and how we were feeling, and some light-hearted reflections on how God sees us compared with how we see ourselves. The resultant 'collage' remained on the wall throughout the day. Then we used a modern rewrite of Psalm 139 and talked about our expectations of the day.

Moving on to the main feature, we then used clay to help us portray our lives. We were each given a large dollop of clay and made our personal island (no artistic skill needed!) using various natural materials (sand, pebbles, twigs, leaves) and fun stuff like little parasols and pot-pourri! This took up quite a bit of time and people worked

quietly and meditatively as they moulded the clay representing areas of their lives. We were amazed at how God was speaking in the doing, and some said the act itself felt like praying!

When we came together to share it was clear that many had found it very moving, and the meditation corner with its candle and quiet music was lit with tea-lights as people responded individually or took time apart with God.

The weather was kind, and some chose to eat lunch outside or wander in the grounds. In the afternoon we took a look at our work/life balance - which proved challenging and thought provoking! A walk in the grounds or a seat in a quiet space gave time for reflection, before giving our hard questions to God by symbolically leaving them at the foot of the tree of life - a fitting handing over to God.

And finally, with the evaluation forms came tea and donuts, essential before we returned to home and work, hopefully refreshed and spiritually nourished.

It was a first - but if you are interested in developing retreats of study days in your area do have a word with us (email Lorraine Burt or email Jean Maxwell ) - we would love to encourage you!

One of the challenges for StCF is to see how we can offer more local support to those who work in palliative care. Some regions have developed informal meetings which are clearly meeting the need of fellowship and sharing. These groups presumably stem from people who already know each other, some of whom may have been on conferences together. More difficult is to work out how to extend this fellowship into the regions which have to date had less involvement with us.

Maybe there is a place for those who have been to conferences inviting their colleagues for food(!) and fellowship. If you were at the last conference, could you host a meeting?

But if we appoint more regional reps, which we hope eventually to do, then they need a strategy for being able to make contacts and bring people together from different localities within their region. Study days and retreats seem to be one way of offering support. If you have any thoughts, ideas, suggestions, for the newsletter please please click here to email me - it would be wonderful to see great things happening in 2007!

Several children, like Charlotte, express quite deep and heartfelt emotions during their sessions. I remember vividly the day when one girl sang poignantly of her sadness she still feels about her elderly relative who died some time ago. The sense of loss was still very real to her.

And then there are the children I see who, although they have no language, can still communicate through their singing and playing. It is such a joy to see a child's face light up as I begin to sing, and to hear them vocalise in response. Even though some of these children can do little or nothing for themselves, their voice is often still strong and powerful, for their spirit is very much alive. Time and time again I see these children respond to music and begin to communicate, and the joy of music as a form of communication is that no words are needed - these children have a voice which can speak and be heard and responded to in and through music alone.

Music-making can be great fun, and some children enjoy coming to music therapy simply to have some fun, and relax. To have the opportunity to make a big noise on a drum is a great treat for many children. In fact, I can report that at a staff music workshop, the big drum was the most popular of all the instruments, and several staff fought very keenly for the right to play it!

Although each session is very different, there is a common thread that runs through all the session that I find utterly inspirational, and that is the desire and will that these children have to create, in spite of the situation they find themselves in. I have witnessed on so many occasions the spirit and determination to really live with their illness, to really want to make music...

Music-making at Helen House and indeed at the hospital, is not confined to just the poorly children however. The net is spread wider than that since, often whole families become involved in the sessions, and so the families can be involved in doing something positive together. I also run a choir and small band at Helen House and this is a real opportunity to bring siblings, parents and staff together in a shared experience.

I have found my work to be rewarding, exhausting, exciting, challenging, emotionally-draining, and yet tremendously uplifting. I never cease to be amazed by the spirit of the children and their families that I meet.

If anyone would like to read more about my work, then a book is available, entitled 'Music Therapy in Children's Hospices: Jessie's Fund in Action. It is available from Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

(Ceridwen Rees, State Registered Arts Therapist)

A Fond Farewell…

Sadly, Geoff Bishop retires at the end of the year after several years on the board of Trustees. Having been CEO of the Scarborough Hospice St Catherine's - albeit nine years ago - his contribution always had an invaluable, well-grounded objectivity, along with a cutting edge to it. His compassion for individuals and his complete commitment to St Columba's were so very evident.